Birthday Celebrations

"What are you giving me for my birthday?", We had been hearing this from our second born almost two months from the actually date! She was supposed to be turning fourteen but behaved like a six year old!There were debates about whether she should have a party at home; a party in a restaurant or no party at all. Believe me for a person who was fourteen many years ago it was confusing to say the least. I couldn't understand why she couldn't be consistent in her desires!

What I remember of my birthdays is that Parents bought you new clothes and whatever you wanted (there was a financial limit to this!) and a small party with a cake to cut. Now of course clothes were to be bought not so much for the pleasure of the birthday baby as for the parents! The party and cake are mandatory (the party could be dispensed with if the child so desires!) the most important thing is the GIFT. I remember it was fun to unwrap the gifts with anticipation- it was such a pleasure to get unexpected presents! But now the main (The most expensive gift) had to be discussed, debated, wheedled and bargained for months before the actual day. Normally our great teenager would start talking about the next GIFT at the end of the birthday party,"What will you get me for my next birthday?"

The concept of celebrating birthdays has changed over the years. In India it was a time to go to the temple and get blessed by the Gods; wear new clothes; seek the blessing of all elders by touching their feet; eat a lovely breakfast with all our favorite things- all this was in the morning. In School we would distribute chocolates and stand in front of the class and allow the class to sing "Happy Birthday" in unison - this was the only day we were allowed to wear "civil dress"to school! The evening was solely devoted to a party and later to opening the presents and then to blissful slumber till the next birthday came up.

Now of course the idea of temple visits have all but disappeared; you have to be prodded by the mother to go and seek the elder's blessings; morning is to cut the cake hurriedly as its getting late for school- though the school celebration remains more or less the same- the evening party is no longer the simple party we used to have; it is organized either professionally or amateurishly with the right background so that it looks good in the photos and videos! The child is of course dressed in the most expensive clothes possible and behaving like a young lady or gentleman! The gifts they receive are much more expensive than we ever did though the pleasure of opening gifts is still there!

One would think that the onus on the parents have reduced to some extent but no! the planning of the menu; the buying of the return gifts; the making of the guest list, all take a small degree in management to get through (In fact I would advice all young mothers and to be ones to take a short course in event management) In fact in large cities birthday parties are big business. Old fashioned ones like me still like to do it at home and have got away with it most of the time but I suppose the newer mums are in for it!

This transition from the Indian to the western way of festivities are a little worrying. We have rich culture, so a lot of wonderful festivals. I don't think we need to add to them like all the "DAYS" that have been added to by "The Archie's" brand for their own sales! I suppose it is easier to celebrate today's galas than our pujas and festivals which require enthusiasm, preparation and lots of time. In the days of instant coffee and fast food its better to celebrate instant days!