Proms and Farewells

Last minute stiches to alter your mum’s blouse to fit you; before that an extensive wardrobe searching (Mum’s)to zero in on a sari which you like; later searching for accessories and sandals to go with the final decision; arguments; counter arguments; agreeing ; disagreeing… Doesn’t this remind you of at least two instances in your life? I am sure you got it- the school farewell parties after the tenth and twelfth grades in India!

The parties are still there- I see a lot of them on Facebook every year! I wonder though if they wear their mum’s saris, the blouses are so well fitted I have a sneaking suspicion that the attire is bought specifically for the young lady in question! If a market research is done on these events I wouldn’t be too surprised to find an extravagant amount of money being spent not only by the organizers but also by the honored guests of the party.

The young gentlemen during our times used to beg, borrow or steal suits for these parties. The young bachelors working in Dad’s office were raided for suitable suits. Now days like the young ladies the young men also get to buy new suits for such occasions. The advantage of having sons is that you spend less on accessories and the boys can reuse their suits. The girls of course cannot repeat the saris! Some of them donate it to their mums who make new blouses and wear them with élan!

There is a whole new story when you are outside India. There are no farewell parties’ only proms every year! Prom is short for promenade. I can see arguments in your eyes that the common meaning of promenade is a leisurely walk or a place where you go for such a walk. There are other meanings too and one of them is a ‘formal ball’ and this is what we are talking about.

Here of course no alteration of mum’s dress will do! So one goes on a shopping expedition to get a lovely new dress which will most probably never be worn again (can’t be passed on to mum either!).I t should be satiny or lacy or silky- in short leaning towards the grandiose! Going through the current fashion statement it should be neither too long nor too short, the colour should be an in-color and the accessories should not be loud but at the same time be a little funky. If you are lucky you will get an approved dress in your third foray! You heave a sigh of relief but it is not the end.

A number of expeditions will follow, to buy the shoes, accessories and other very essential items. This is more difficult than the main dress shopping because your idea of suitable will always clash with the young lady’s idea of ‘coolness’! Soon you will be so tired that you agree with anything anyone says and you drag yourself home with battle fatigue!

All mothers need to get together and exchange notes on this ordeal. The support system should be put up a month before the D-Day! Only then can they go through and survive this tempestuous time. There are some lucky ones who have very pliant children who agree to whatever mum says (the mums are either younger or more modern than the normal ones!)

We then wait for the day- the time to arrive at the prom is acceptable to most mums but the time of returning is always a topic of discussion. Your baby is all dressed up looking much more than the current age and they are happy! The makeup style has changed from our days so there will definitely be some sulks hidden in the preparation, once or twice the make-up is removed and reapplied and lo and behold you have a sophisticated young lady on hand. The feeling of pride jostles with anxiety when you see your baby looking all grown up. That’s what life is all about and you step back and let your little one take the stage.

The interminable wait begins after this and till your little chicken is back home you flutter about like the hen.

These little instances in life prepare you for the final farewell when they leave home and begin their new lives.

Who said being a parent is easy?

Jump to the Spring….

All the pavement gardens are in full bloom. The yellows, pinks, reds and green are sunbathing and nodding their heads in the warm sunshine. Everything looks gorgeous and fresh; I keep clicking them with my memory camera and store it in my brain.  Like Wordsworth, I will at my leisure retrieve them and enjoy them again and again.

Spring is here! It brings with it vitality and energy. The cold winter months had dried and shriveled me. I have been watching “Spring” on the travel channel and wallowing in the beauty of wild flowers all over the world. The camera always makes everything beautiful and larger than life. If we were to walk in the jungles like the Anchor in the program does, we would never notice these wild flowers. They are so tiny! But because the camera pick up these frames and enlarges them, we notice the beauty of these wee flowers.

When we were children we used to go for walks with Dad; we plucked various wild flowers and carefully pressed it between the pages of a small diary. Those diaries are gone but my memories of those outings are still fresh in my mind.  If I remember correctly we went during spring or just after the rains. The freshness in the air and the smell of life around us made us feel energetic and full of joie de vivre.  The river- bank walks or following a trail in the mountain always made me appreciate the freedom of nature. The untamed wild scenery was so much more beautiful than the pretty hedges and the artificially created gardens in any city. You, anyway never have the time to walk on the pavement gardens! Even if you do, you get nauseated with the honks of the cars, their poisonous fumes and people walking into you!

Demeter is decorating the Earth to welcome her daughter Persephone from Hades. She never makes a mistake, every year this happens and Demeter’s happiness infuses itself in the breeze and when the wind caresses the earth it infuses the selfsame joy and we are treated to a riot of colours, scents and new experiences!

Every living being is busy now. The little ants are out, the bees are buzzing, and birds are in a hurry to line their nest. The shackles of winter have been opened and all of us are testing our freedom in our own personal manner.

It’s time now to pack the coats and woolens safely. (If I had my way I would never want winter again!) Once upon a time I used to love the winters but now as I get closer to the winter of my life I hark back at spring and summer!

People are out in droves to partake of the warm see breeze in the evenings. The food, cold drinks and tea carts are all selling their wares. The deserted seaside walks are swarming with little children and their parents, the teenagers and the couples find exciting nooks and crannies on the concrete blocks that line the sea! 

The knotted mind which had become frozen is thawing out and before the summer sun can completely melt it out, it will roll in the warm hay of life and strive to find the best state of existence.

Spring is like an aromatherapy session; it straightens the unknotted mind and spreads it out in the warmth to rejuvenate it. The many connected neurons of the brain are sending messages to each other. They are refreshing the old connections and making new connections. It’s time to jump and gambol ; to lie back and look at the stars; to dust the cobwebs; to live ….; to watch the children in their simple pleasures; to be free…..