Proms and Farewells

Last minute stiches to alter your mum’s blouse to fit you; before that an extensive wardrobe searching (Mum’s)to zero in on a sari which you like; later searching for accessories and sandals to go with the final decision; arguments; counter arguments; agreeing ; disagreeing… Doesn’t this remind you of at least two instances in your life? I am sure you got it- the school farewell parties after the tenth and twelfth grades in India!

The parties are still there- I see a lot of them on Facebook every year! I wonder though if they wear their mum’s saris, the blouses are so well fitted I have a sneaking suspicion that the attire is bought specifically for the young lady in question! If a market research is done on these events I wouldn’t be too surprised to find an extravagant amount of money being spent not only by the organizers but also by the honored guests of the party.

The young gentlemen during our times used to beg, borrow or steal suits for these parties. The young bachelors working in Dad’s office were raided for suitable suits. Now days like the young ladies the young men also get to buy new suits for such occasions. The advantage of having sons is that you spend less on accessories and the boys can reuse their suits. The girls of course cannot repeat the saris! Some of them donate it to their mums who make new blouses and wear them with élan!

There is a whole new story when you are outside India. There are no farewell parties’ only proms every year! Prom is short for promenade. I can see arguments in your eyes that the common meaning of promenade is a leisurely walk or a place where you go for such a walk. There are other meanings too and one of them is a ‘formal ball’ and this is what we are talking about.

Here of course no alteration of mum’s dress will do! So one goes on a shopping expedition to get a lovely new dress which will most probably never be worn again (can’t be passed on to mum either!).I t should be satiny or lacy or silky- in short leaning towards the grandiose! Going through the current fashion statement it should be neither too long nor too short, the colour should be an in-color and the accessories should not be loud but at the same time be a little funky. If you are lucky you will get an approved dress in your third foray! You heave a sigh of relief but it is not the end.

A number of expeditions will follow, to buy the shoes, accessories and other very essential items. This is more difficult than the main dress shopping because your idea of suitable will always clash with the young lady’s idea of ‘coolness’! Soon you will be so tired that you agree with anything anyone says and you drag yourself home with battle fatigue!

All mothers need to get together and exchange notes on this ordeal. The support system should be put up a month before the D-Day! Only then can they go through and survive this tempestuous time. There are some lucky ones who have very pliant children who agree to whatever mum says (the mums are either younger or more modern than the normal ones!)

We then wait for the day- the time to arrive at the prom is acceptable to most mums but the time of returning is always a topic of discussion. Your baby is all dressed up looking much more than the current age and they are happy! The makeup style has changed from our days so there will definitely be some sulks hidden in the preparation, once or twice the make-up is removed and reapplied and lo and behold you have a sophisticated young lady on hand. The feeling of pride jostles with anxiety when you see your baby looking all grown up. That’s what life is all about and you step back and let your little one take the stage.

The interminable wait begins after this and till your little chicken is back home you flutter about like the hen.

These little instances in life prepare you for the final farewell when they leave home and begin their new lives.

Who said being a parent is easy?