The scrunched up eyes and red face was delivered into my
arms and I looked at it with a mixture of awe and apprehension. Is this little
mite really mine? Am I wholly going to be responsible for this helpless bundle?
I am sure mothers, the world over, have gone through similar and lot more
rhetoric questions at this precious moment. Nature equips us to go through all
the pain and still gives us all the energy to indulge in the joy of creation
that each of these children bring about.
Life is never the same after this momentous event. From
a selfish, carefree and “World is my Oyster” kind of existence you are pushed
into a tiring routine of cleaning bathing and feeding. The world now becomes an uncertain jungle.
You start planning and saving. Your happiness becomes limited yet infinite at
the same time! The other young but unrestricted couple look at you with pity
but you look back at them with pity too!
And life goes on……
Before you realize it’s more than twenty years…. The
family has grown too and the tiny mite is a young adult with a sibling who is
also ready to fly! When the first one left home, it was traumatic (at least for
me!) For seventeen years I had looked after, guided, advised and had gone
through every physical and emotional ups and downs and now the “wicked” world
would lay down an obstacle course for my ‘delicately nurtured princess’. Every
time I heard of the slightest pain I would feel like leaving everything and
rushing over to take care but swallowing desire and knowing that one day she
would have to be responsible for her life, I didn’t! I feel proud of myself and especially of her
as I see her manage her life and kick all the obstacles on her path.
It’s that time again now when her sibling will leave
home to take up the reins of her life. I thought I am mature, having gone
through all the gamut of emotions, I would (I was sure!) be a very
sophisticated mother and let go with grace and dignity. In fact one mother who
will be leaving her first child said, “For you it will be a cake walk, you have
already let go once!” I am sure even if you have ten, letting go each time will
be as difficult as the first time!
There is still time before she leaves home but the
familiar emotions have started crowding in. Yes the planning and scheduling
does distract you during the day but the nights are dark and long and all the
bogeys in the world come crowding in and it’s very uncomfortable.
The positive thing is this is a phase and it will get
over sooner or later. Just wish its sooner than later! The whole world I feel
is looking down at me with a superior smile. The older ones, having forgotten
their past emotions, must be saying “Oh! It’s no great deal”, the younger ones
also, in their ignorance, saying “Oh! It’s no big deal” Will I also be doing this,
ten years from now? If I do, someone remind me of this blog and the superior
smile will be arrested on my lips.
I must not forget to mention the fathers here. Though I
have no idea what they go through but I am sure it is equally if not more
stressful for them. They have to put up
‘the stiff upper lip’ bravado and be ‘a man’ while we mothers have the luxury
of giving way and being accepted as such.
While the baby
books record their milestones for posterity, there is no life book to record
our milestones of parenthood! Letting go is a milestone. We cross it and rarely
look back (except with affection) and go on to the next milestone.
Happy parents’ day should also be celebrated separately!
