The Milestone of Parenthood

The scrunched-up eyes and red face was delivered into my arms and I looked at it with a mixture of awe and apprehension. Is this little mite really mine? Am I wholly going to be responsible for this helpless bundle? I am sure mothers, the world over, have gone through similar and lot more rhetoric questions at this precious moment. Nature equips us to go through all the pain and still gives us all the energy to indulge in the joy of creation that each of these children bring about.

Life is never the same after this momentous event. From a selfish, carefree and “World is my Oyster” kind of existence you are pushed into a tiring routine of cleaning, bathing and feeding.  The world now becomes an uncertain jungle. You start planning and saving. Your happiness becomes limited yet infinite at the same time! The other young but unrestricted couple look at you with pity but you look back at them with pity too!

And life goes on……

Before you realize it’s more than twenty years…. The family has grown too and the tiny mite is a young adult with a sibling who is also ready to fly! When the first one left home, it was traumatic (at least for me!) For seventeen years I had looked after, guided, advised and had gone through every physical and emotional ups and downs and now the “wicked” world would lay down an obstacle course for my ‘delicately nurtured princess’. Every time I heard of the slightest pain, I would feel like leaving everything and rushing over to take care but swallowing desire and knowing that one day she would have to be responsible for her life, I didn’t!  I feel proud of myself and especially of her as I see her manage her life and kick all the obstacles on her path.

It’s that time again now when her sibling will leave home to take up the reins of her life. I thought I am mature, having gone through all the gamut of emotions, I would (I was sure!) be a very sophisticated mother and let go with grace and dignity. In fact one mother who will be leaving her first child said, “For you it will be a cake walk, you have already let go once!” I am sure even if you have ten, letting go each time will be as difficult as the first time!

There is still time before she leaves home but the familiar emotions have started crowding in. Yes, the planning and scheduling does distract you during the day but the nights are dark and long and all the bogeys in the world come crowding in and it’s very uncomfortable.

The positive thing is this is a phase and it will get over sooner or later. Just wish its sooner than later! The whole world I feel is looking down at me with a superior smile. The older ones, having forgotten their past emotions, must be saying “Oh! It’s no great deal”, the younger ones also, in their ignorance, saying “Oh! It’s no big deal” Will I also be doing this, ten years from now? If I do, someone remind me of this blog and the superior smile will be arrested on my lips.
I must not forget to mention the fathers here. Though I have no idea what they go through but I am sure it is equally if not more stressful for them.  They have to put up ‘the stiff upper lip’ bravado and be ‘a man’ while we mothers have the luxury of giving way and being accepted as such.

 While the baby books record their milestones for posterity, there is no life book to record our milestones of parenthood! Letting go is a milestone. We cross it and rarely look back (except with affection) and go on to the next milestone.

Happy parents’ day should also be celebrated separately!