I have the time to stare and watch these days!
“What do you do the whole day?” a very common question aimed at me for the last four years is starting to get less and less irritating. Unfortunately I still haven’t framed a pert rejoinder to the query! I am working on it.
The young ones (college going, pre married and newly working ones) never ask me, maybe because they are not interested enough or they are at that age, self-centered! I love to spend time with them; they are normally positive and full of their experience in life. The newly married ones and new moms are also fine- they are busy with their lives and they believe, their problems are paramount and insurmountable! So O.K. they don’t pay too much of attention to how I spend my time!
It’s the rest of the world who are sometimes tiring with their predictable question (notice the singular “question”!)
I have had a very ordinary and predictable life. Studied, married, had children, worked for some time and now…….????
Another question I am accosted with frequently is “Do you work?”
Well of course I do! How else would a healthy person exist?
The definition of work is-be engaged in physical or
mental activity in order to achieve a result- Just by being there I am
working!
I wake up in the morning and look down at the beautiful
garden below. It is teeming with life! (Sometimes I wake up at five in the
morning and the well-lit garden is humming with activity)You would be amazed at
what all people do early in the morning. (Being a night person, my brain
refuses to work for an hour or so after I wake up!) There are the young ones
with plugged up ears running and jogging, the middle aged ones (you can tell by
their paunches!) walking energetically, the old ones talking a leisurely stroll
and some undisciplined kids weaving in and out almost tripping people. I feel
am I losing out on life, I don’t do all this…..But….
Some five- six years back I used to do all this (Not in
the morning though! Usually evening) I enjoyed it too! I used to exercise
vigorously, diet all the time and fill myself with diet snacks and fruits et
al; have advised people to do the same. Just imagine making three kinds of
meals, looking after kids and husband and “working” too! But I was never a
rebel and I walked with the pack. Complaining about everything (price, maid,
vegetables and you name it!)
After the first one left the nest, I slowly stopped
obsessing about school and grades (the second one was lucky!)I gave more
freedom to the younger one; stopped freaking out about “why 98 not 100?” I was
lucky to go abroad where my dependency on maids reduced considerably; petty
politics at work was a thing of the past and I changed drastically, my whole
attitude towards life changed. Whether that was a good thing or not, is for you
to decide.
People were already saying,” soon your second one will
leave – you must get back to work”. To be honest I mulled over it for some time
and halfheartedly tried. Then one fine day I decided to leave the race! I
wanted to stand and stare at the runners going ahead with their jogging shoes
and water bottles’ I pod and headphones; determined and sweaty faces!
I have been blessed with an understanding husband who
lets me do whatever I want to. I know he would love it if I went back into the
“working” arena but he respects my wish, not to.
For the last four years, I have been fulfilling one of
my life’s desires- to travel. I have traveled a lot and drunk in the pleasure
of new civilizations, cultures, currencies and beauty. I have had the freedom
to help my children settle down and begin their journey in and towards adulthood.
Could I have done this if I had been “working”? I have gone on holidays not
worrying about school holidays or leave applications. I have reduced my
cribbing quotient and moved towards positivity in spite of all the negativity
that surrounds me. Yes I have fallen ill but without feeling guilty that I have
to take leave and stay at home. I believe that I am living life now. I know
people will accuse me of being selfish, lazy and pleasure loving. Maybe I am
that! But all of us deserve a break from the mundane grind of existence and I
believe that after being good for so long, let me be a little evil!
To answer the very important “question” I do work. I
work to run the house, I work to give emotional support to many people in my
life, I work to keep a balance of yin yang in the family, I work to see that
life is running smoothly for the people who have done so for me, now. I am the
finance minister, the home minister, the education minister, the foreign
affairs minister… all rolled into one.
So my young and old friends learn that we all have our
roles to play at all times during our life. It is important that we find our
niche and enjoy what we do. All of us are working towards a common goal of
reaching out to happiness. Even the beggar works!
I read and play, I am learning to enjoy cooking (I have
always hated it till now!) I am learning to explore and discover. I am
learning! That’s the important thing. The day I stop learning I will die and
then you can ask me “What do I do the whole day?” Now twenty-four hours is not
enough for me!
The main thing is to fulfill your responsibilities and still enjoy the process of life!
