Sleep! What a luxury....

Whack! I slapped the pesky mosquito on my face and woke myself up.  The little cog wheels started whirring slowly at first (they are old!) then as usual, the brain and heart started their regular debate, the well-oiled crankshafts went chook chook and the bulbs flashed merrily in the subconscious and boy! Was I ready to begin the day!

The only problem was it was one a.m. in the night and most people were fast asleep. I could see in the dark, as its never totally dark anyway. The lights from the building outside always manage to bypass the security of my thick curtains and dance around anywhere my eyes choose to look at. I patted my brain.

“Hey guy, you know what? the sun is still not up and you do need a shot of vitamin D to wake you up right?”

“not exactly!” said the grim one

“well! You know what, why don’t we count sheep?”

“No!” very short and final

“What about thinking about GOD?”

A snort greeted me on this one.

“let’s play a game”

“which one?”

At least I got his attention!

“I ask the universe a question which has a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’ answer’

“Waiting….”

“then I count till fifty”

“Well?”

“the universe has to make the spouse move or snore within that time”

“then?”

“if he does, the answer is yes if he doesn’t, the answer is no”

“Very silly! But if it makes you happy….”

You will be glad to know that most questions were answered with an “yes”

For all the dumb names you can call me for coming up with this game, it does work you know. It keeps the brain occupied (it loves counting you see) for some time and the heart is happy because it gets these affirmative answers. (You can bet your life that spouse will snore or shift during fifty! Sometimes it works with thirty too)

You can fool the brain for some time but not all the time. Sigh!

So it forfeits the game and starts moaning about worry no.1. that means gears and cranks are on full go and any hope that it might shut down is flying out of the window. Heart is all down in the dumps ..

“Why does this always happen with me?” it moans

“You come up with the most far fetched ideas and dreams!” scoffed the master (megalomania)

Hand picks up the cell beside me and it tells me it’s one thirty in the morning. For all the groans and shifts, time isn’t moving too fast. Still four and a half hours to go before I can legitimately wake up. Got to do damage control.

“Hey!”

“WHAT?” snaps the brain.

“whaaat?” squeaks the heart, as if its head was paining!

“Let’s meditate”

“Didn’t I say no GOD?” roared brain

“Quit yelling”, heart with its head in his hands moans.

“First let me tell you meditation is not GOD. It is, what I understand, to put your brain in a kind of suspended animation so that blood can flow into your consciousness in your subconscious mind and rejuvenate it”

“Buddy” said the perky mind, “the question is, do I really need rejuvenation at two in the morning?

Had to admit he got me on that one!

“You have any better idea?” I said sarcastically

“What about planning tomorrow’s menu” asked the timid heart.

The gears clashed on this one and poor heart hurriedly withdrew into the shell.

“Let’s make the body toss and turn and rumple the bed sheet at least. I mean what a waste of a night if you trouble no one!” that wasn’t me speaking it was the wicked grey matter!

“Calm down let’s just close the eyes, stop the dancing lights from distracting you, deaden the traffic noise and listen to the silence”

Easier said than done; Worry no. 1 comes back.

I am determined. I take the shovel and shove it down the grave I created for it. Lot of work and sweat! Bury it, pat the last finishing touches and stamp it with my heels.

“Hello!” pipes the loving heart “what about this?”

I see worry no. 2 slithering in noiselessly as I muscle up to dig another grave, there is tiny no 3 wriggling its head out of the freshly turned mud of no.1 and look there is the centipede of a worry no. 4 sliding majestically into the frame………

Well I haven’t been sleeping too well these last few weeks. I have discovered its futile to intervene in debates and its useless to calm or pacify any altercation between the brain or the heart.

Logic versus emotion is all that it made out to be! The clock still shows it is three o’clock and still at least another three hours to go... Sigh!