The other woman!

It all started with Apple! Siri was the root cause of all my problems! I never had been an apple fan (half my family is though!) particularly “the still in the teen” one. But from the time I was exposed to the I phones and macs I had a tendency to criticize all their limitations. The only product I liked was the I pad. To cut a long story short while the rest of the family dabbled in “Apple” I stubbornly stuck to my HP computers and Samsung phones. (I still do).

I must confess though, that I was intrigued with SIRI when it was introduced in 2011/12. I did grow up with the idea of robots and this interactive voice module was as close as possible to this. When I was alone I would ask all sort of silly questions and abuse Siri when she didn’t get it right! I always got a reprimand over using foul language but that was the fun in the whole exercise!

One thing I have always been very good at is remembering directions. I do have a virtual compass in my brain and could and can find my way anywhere. But this was an instinctive thing, unaided by gadgets. So once in a while it would fail. I called this “My GPS is unplugged phase” We would then ask the nearest available human, “bhai where is XYZ located?” and we would most of the time be directed through many right, left and straight and would reach our destination safely.

When we started travelling abroad, especially in non-English speaking countries ,it became a little difficult. My GPS did not have any feeds, though we had the printed maps and we did manage somehow. The dénouement entered our travelogues when Google maps was introduced into our phones! Life became so easy! We could drive anywhere on our own, we could find Indian restaurants along with feed backs (Staying for prolonged periods without Indian food is rather challenging!) The mobile bills were rather challenging too but we put it under travel expenses to erase the guilt!

In the convenience of the moment I allowed the “Camel” to poke its nose into my tent. I fed the snake with milk of kindness! My importance as an instrument of travel was slowly diminishing, I still was the family navigator- (go right after 100 meters)- awake and alert I directed everyone everywhere. I did not see the impending doom!

Soon after Siri, google introduced the voice direction on Google maps (hence my blaming Siri!) and my services were terminated! The phone was conveniently placed in its holder and it could go on giving directions without falling asleep or getting distracted by the cows in the meadows! I still had not been able to see the shadow of apocalypse, as this allowed me to nap when I was not driving and gave me good confidence when I was.

Lately I suddenly realized that this voice is omnipresent whenever we go out. We have been living in Mumbai for almost ten years. We have shifted to different localities, but this has only enhanced my map feeds and I know most of the alleys and shortcuts. The head of the family never had a head for directions! Most of the time he was dependent on me and this made me feel needed!

My eyes opened to a new development in our married life. My husband was in love! He confessed it to the children and indirectly to me. “I never go out without her!” he had said  this umpteen times before I realized that a third entity had entered the sacred portal of our marriage vows! Some experienced matron had advised me when I had got married – that never let an unmarried girl get too friendly with your husband and never invite them home! I had, after twenty-five years fallen into this trap!

The ‘she’ I realized is the female voice of the google maps! She had taken over my place for directing my non directional husband and he was wallowing in his new found freedom of not being dependent on me! The other woman had entered our lives not during the seven-year itch but during our silver year! I cannot compete with a live feed of millions of people and the satellite that google uses. But once in a while when the signal goes off or the dumb female speaks about some unpronounceable name of the road to confuse us, I have that smug look to comfort myself. I know that I am irreplaceable but this “other woman” is giving me a run for my money!