It all started with the newbie adult asking on the family
group chat “How to make dal?” appended along with a picture of a vessel with “I
think this is a pressure cooker?”! (All the way from Chicago!)
Somewhere along the way I had failed to train the baby of
the house with the basic rudiments of cooking!
Before I could respond to this, her sibling, the doctor
of the family in Rishikesh gave clear cut instructions:
1.Dry heat, dal first, till u get smell
2. Then put water, salt and haldi* n 3 whistles.
Obviously with such instruction I was not surprised to
see the following messages.
“ON what heat? High, Medium or low?
“MEDIUM”
“How much dal to put? A CUP OR LESS?”
“Small cup. not coffee cup! ½ of coffee cup” insisted the
Sibling
“Well I have measuring cups, 1 cup of that?” asked the
newbie
“That might be too much!”
“DAMN”
“U can always store it!”
“Ok, ok!”
This followed by a picture of a cup of dry dal.
“It will fit in the pressure cooker, no? It won’t
overflow?”, asked the diffident chef
As this was directed specifically at me, I replied that
it won’t.
“1 cup or ½ cup or ¼ cup?”
“HELP!”
To this I gave very strict instruction: for 1 cup add 4
cups of water
“But do I want 1 cup or less?”, still hadn’t left her
penchant for metaphysical questions!
I sighed,” half cup would be good”.
This was followed by an animated jumping teddy bear,
which drives me nuts, so I replied with a “ No “ sticker!
The doctor sniggered in the background!
“Dry heat for how long? 2 cups of water then?”
incessant enquiries!
The ever-helpful elder sibling answered all
the questions at the same time: “SMELL WILL COME, keep tossing it, 3 to 4 cups.”
The struggling adult said, “IT BURNT!”
“TOSS TOSS”, followed by “THROW THAT” when a
picture of the burnt dal came on line!
“NOW RESTART”
“LOW HEAT”
“OK”, acquiesced the troubled newbie,
followed by, “Mama said 4 cups water for 1 cup dal, I am making half cup so half water, no?”
“OK” grunted the Master chef
“Yes or no?”
“YES!”
“KK, what should I add now?”
A cartoon sticker of smell followed by a
question mark…..
A ROFL penguin sticker followed by,” it
smells burnt from previous batch” said the baby
“Ok, add water. And then Salt and haldi* 1
tsp or so”
“Before closing lid?”
“Obviously!”, said the exasperated older
sister
“And mix it?”
“YES MAAM!”
This is when I decided that I must write a
blog on this!
Further Instruction …..
“Then close the lid and lock it. Make sure
the top knob (the weight ) is there too!
“LOW HEAT!”
“Don’t fiddle with the cooker once closed!”
“Let it whistle for 3 times n leave it for 10
to 15 mins”
Rapid fire directions!
“This much heat or more?” (followed with a picture
of the gas burner)
“YES that’s fine”
“Don’t know how to put lid!”, complained the
wannabe cook
Exhausted sticker followed this statement!
“Twist and…..” began the Doctor
“This isn’t twisting, it needs to go under
the perimeter..”, interrupted the newbie
“…Sideways in and then turn….”, continued the
sibling
“Then locked.. ya that’s what I did”
interrupted again
“….Like handle 90 degrees to other handle..”
“But it will touch dal when I take it out”,
protested the newbie-wannabe chef
“,,,Plus 90 degrees on Z axis.” Patiently continued
the Doctor
“Oh! that’s ok”
Now Man of the house enters the fray (Mumbai)
“4 to 5 whistles in Chicago and slightly
burnt, gives nice flavour” advised the super chef. (He tells everyone, who cares
to hear, that he taught me how to cook!)
“Well I threw out the burnt one… OMG its
going to POOO soon I can hear sizzling.”
“ONE DONE!”
“OMG! Can’t keep calm!”, I could visualise the
super excited baby of mine jumping up and down with excitement.
This is followed by one zillion stickers to
show the various emotions all participants were going through!
“Three done what to do now?” enquired the
adult
“One more for good luck!”, advised the Doctor
“House smells like turmeric now!”
“Fourth whistle sounds like train!”
Audio clip follows this chat
“LIKE PAPA’S train “says Baby
“PUT
IT OFF”, Screams the Advisor
“DONE!”
Lots of hilarious instruction of how to open
the cooker follows.
Father intervenes “1/6th spoon
haldi* ,Ma always puts too much!”
“But I am good”, says the newbie
“What if it isn’t soft?”, a worried rumble
“REBOIL!”, yells the sibling
“How to season it?” sighs the sous-chef
Plenty of simultaneous instruction on how to do
that by three different people!
The four cell phones in different corners of
the world went haywire with pings.
Finally, the finished product picture is put
up and Madam eats the whole thing off like a bowl of soup!
We heard the satisfied burp from 12939 km
away!
This was followed by profuse thanks!
We didn’t do such a bad job in bringing up
these two brats!
This is the new world that we live in! Even
with the internet and the YOUtube videos it is so much more fun to cook the
family way!
Legends
·
Dal=
Lentil
·
Haldi
= Turmeric
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