Maid Files

 

“ I need four Sundays off and maybe another four days if I need them,” the large red Bindi looked at me aggressively. “Before you say anything, I shall mop the floor every alternate day and for lunch I need at least one veg dish and dal along with roti,” the rasping voice continued its monologue. My feeble attempts to interrupt were swept aside with a flick of the hand…

The lift man who had deigned to bring in the house help nodded approvingly at both of us, as if all had been settled!

“ My salary will be twenty thousand along with double salary on Diwali,” she continued.

“Why do you need so many holidays?” I asked meekly (my mistake!)

“I need time to visit my children and grandchildren, my brothers and sisters and I have a social life too!” she grinned at me wolfishly.

I was terrified.

“Will let you know,” I mumbled while ushering them out of the door.

“Jaldi bolna (tell me soon),” she barked, “I have many people wanting my services.”

I closed the door, leaned on it (I thought she would push back in!) and took a deep breath and looked out at the beautiful view from my balcony.

“Hope you are not planning on keeping her!” Lord and Master stated.

Having had an angel for a house help for the last eight years in our last home, I had not considered that finding another one would be a challenge. I had hoped that she would move along with us, but it was too far away from her family and friends to come here. With a heavy heart I had decided I would need a new person and with that to train them in my ideocratic methods of housekeeping!

COVID had made another change in my life I had a house husband to cope with now! After thirty years I need not ask , “When are you coming home today?” or “Will your trip be extended?” or “why didn’t you tell me you are not there for dinner!”. It was fun – didn’t have to get up early in the morning, didn’t have to worry about dinner (though I did have to plan lunch!), could go out whenever I wanted (COVID permitting) and didn’t have to wait for weekends to go shopping. L&M (Lord and master) helped a lot around the house- cooked, made tea, even micromanaged the maid (who did not miss grumbling about him to me). He also filled the sink with interminable dishes, complained about the maid and shut the study for hours (Work from home!)

So here he was, in our new home already stepping into the forbidden territory of hiring the house help. Though irritated at first, I realised he would spend equal time with her around the house so the “chemistry" should be good there.

The house was still being done up, so I could afford to ignore the frantic calls from “Red Bindi” and the lift man. I hoped that once I shifted in, I would conduct all the interviews and find my “angel of mercy.”

Having braced myself for confrontation, I informed the liftman that I would not be employing his friend. I was harangued by the great Madam for at least three days with  lot of negotiating factors ( wont take so many leaves, can have rice instead of roti, will mop the floor daily etc.). I realised I had burnt my bridges as far as the liftman was concerned.

The next person contacted was the housekeeping in charge of the apartment. He sent a house help immediately.

I had been doing all the housework for the last week, so I just took this one in.

“I like my tea with only milk,” “After lunch I need to rest” and  “why do you need to sleep after lunch?” were all taken in my stride. The first couple of days went by with lots of protests regarding my housekeeping methods from the “I -hoped-to- be-the- angle!"

The entire day was punctuated with “Madam come here, this is not working!” or “Madam how does one open the tap?” To say I was harried and hassled would be an understatement! After lunch she took to sitting on MY easy chair in the balcony and looking blankly at the rain falling. Thankfully, she did not turn up one day and said that she was ill and did not come for the next five days (Ganesh puja days!) and I had the perfect reason to sack her.

Back to scrubbing and cleaning (thank God for the dish washer and the washing machine!) ( L&M was a great emotional and physical help too). Sending out feelers for the third time…….

Nicely draped in a smart sari with dangling earrings, the dusky beauty came in spewing honey and sweetness. I did not hesitate, told her to come right away. In two days flat she had got the hang of what I wanted; listening to her sob story of how her husband had lost his job of fifteen years due to COVID, how this was the first time she had come out of the house to work, she had three children to clothe and feed, I did not quibble when she wanted a couple of my dresses (“Its so difficult to work in a sari!”). I threw in a set of bangles, some purses, and nighties too.

I was supposed to go on a long trip leaving L&M at home so I felt he would be well looked after in my absence. I was at the airport when I got the message that “Our lady” had not turned up. On the phone , “ My son was unwell, I will definitely go tomorrow.”

For the next three months the excuses varied from, “Madam! I am not well” to “Madam I have to go for the vaccine” to “Madam I need to go for the parent teacher meeting,” (though her husband was without a job and sitting at home!) to “Madam I need a break.” I was gullible enough to be taken in. but then there is that ‘ last straw that breaks the camel’s back’, and I had to, albeit reluctantly, let her go.

I was again travelling when L&M started taking interviews and updating me on them. One was very good, but she could come only at twelve. The other one worked in three houses so could come at seven in the morning or at one in the afternoon and so on. All of them energetic and young but each had their own baggage, and I was coming home to another maid less existence. The latest one has survived for the last three weeks… lets hope the chemistry between us is good and she lasts longer than the others. (touch wood)

 I keep repeating “I miss Manisha!” ( my last angle), “She spoilt me so, that I cannot find anyone to replace her”. ( forgetting that it took me two whole years to train her!)

So its back to the grindstone, polishing the rough edges, pampering and being strict alternately (For AC is better than DC!) I don’t know whether we Indians will ever be self sufficient enough to survive without these angles of mercy, but I do know how important they are to my peace of mind!

God Save the House helps!