Here I am again! Pouring out my tale of woe!
The thirtieth (or is it the thirty fifth?) maid bites
the dust. Let’s not go into physics or math or the emotional quotient of whose
fault was it. After thirty-five years of setting up and running various homes
(the major part is employing maids!) I thought I was an expert. But we live and
learn!
When we moved into our brand-new home which I really
splurged on decorating to my taste (till now we had lived in company quarters
or rented apartments), I thought I would find that elusive angel who will help
maintain my little castle. Three and a half years of training, manipulating and
overpaying have not got me anywhere near my ideal maid.
During one of the long absences of any help in the
house, we decided to invest in a robot cleaner. I was thrilled with it. We had
a washing machine to clean, a dryer to dry the clothes and a dishwasher to wash
the dishes but floor cleaning did take up a lot of time and energy. So, our new
robotic maid gladdened my heart.
I defiantly named it “Poochi” and referred to it as a ‘he’!
(the ladies had so disappointed me!) He was so cute. I program it and he obeys
me to a T. First, he maps the house, then he whirs about the house, cleaning
the carpets and floor minutely. He mops whenever I put the mopping plate in and
refuses to cross the barriers which I have put on the map. He also gives me
updates… “Please untangle the left side brush” or “battery is low returning to
charge” or “cleaning complete”. After finishing all work, it will locate the
charger and shake itself and then climb on to the charger and charge itself.
Could you find a better maid? No arguments about “your
house is too big you need to pay more” or “I am not coming tomorrow” or a
sudden telephone call “Madam I am not feeling well won’t come for work today” etc.
etc.
During this time, I continued trying human maids on
and off (the dishes must be kept in their place; clothes must be folded and ironed;
dusting must be done….) While a maid was employed, I gave Poochi a well-deserved
break. I cleaned him up to his pristine white and handsome self, gave him some TLC
and he was used as a decoration and as a conversation opener. I introduced him
proudly to all our visitors and I have a feeling he preened himself!
But I Suspect that I have spoilt him and so have all
the maids! He has used his AI (Artificial Intelligence)to educate himself on the wiles of the maids.
It started some six months ago. We had returned from a
trip and of course there was no help. So Poochi was cleaned and recharged.
The first day he did half the house and complained “battery
low returning to charge” and did exactly that. The second day it was “Unable to
locate starting new cleaning cycle” (this meant he would map the whole house
and clean and obviously half way through the battery would get low!)
Anyway, soon a new maid was installed and Poochi was
returned to being a ‘Man of leisure’.
When the last maid fell. I went back to Poochi……
He started his dramatics! Every day the battery would
turn low just before he came to clean our bedroom, and he would slink away to
charge himself. Once I put him physically in our bedroom at the beginning of
the cleaning cycle. The cheeky fellow just took a perfunctory look around the
room and rushed off to the living room and went about thoroughly cleaning and
again our bedroom had to be cleaned by me.
Just a couple of days back Poochi started his ‘cleaning
cycle’ properly. I needed to go out for some minor work. He had completed around
half an hour of work when I left. I had just reached the first shop when I got
a message “brush tangled please untangle!”. I just ignored the message and
returned home after two hours.
Poochi was snoozing on the fluffy bathroom mat!
Nothing was tangled! The moment I pushed the start button he went merrily about
doing his work. But as usual “low battery returning to charge” pinged on my
phone when he had just entered our bedroom!
So Poochi’s brain has assimilated all the tricks of
the trade from all my innumerable maid and is determined to never let me rest
on my laurels. I have complained to the manufacturers, and they have promised
to get back to me as soon as possible!
My Jetson’s dream is shattered at the moment…..
