Monday, February 24, 2025

Emergency Experience

 


 


“Doctor, I have left the cannula on his hands even though we were discharged yesterday,” said a very aggressive voice.

“Hmm”

“Actually both of us have spent more than a week in your hospital and we were discharged yesterday and our doctor told us that he has to get two antibiotic injection via IV today that is why I left the cannula. That will I hope reduce the cost?”

“Yes, I suppose so,” a very polite voice seemed to agree.

“Our doctor also told us that the only cost that we have to bear, is the drip set cost, no other charges will be expected of us,” the aggressive voice said in clipped tones.

“Sir I would request you to talk with reception regarding the cost before we start any procedure,” The Emergency Room Doctor suddenly had come alive.

“Could you not do that?” a very irritated voice asked.

“No sir,” the polite voice continued, “We just log in whatever has been done, we do not do the billing.”



I could not see the people who were having this conversation. I was locked inside a very narrow bed (I am not joking when I say locked! There were bars on two sides of the bed which could be let down by the nurse. I could not remove them myself!). Anyway I was attached to an Intra-venous drip on one hand with a weird something around my finger (supposedly to track my vitals) and on the other hand was a band on my upper arm to check my blood pressure. I was (as all of you must have realised in the Emergency room of a big hospital). There was a curtain all around me so I could not see anyone, but I could hear everything!

Being bored (I could not even use my phone) I listened to whatever was happening on the other side of the curtain.

There had been a pause in the conversation (presumably the aggressive gentleman had gone to the reception)

Some muttering started…

“Arre Dinkar could have given me this at home!” an older male voice said.

“Why Dinkar, even Aaryan can do it! The cannula is already there all he has to is fix the lead,” said the all-knowing aggressive gentleman.

“Sorry Sir, I just spoke to Dr._____ and he said he had not said that no charges would be taken as you mentioned. The ER charges will have to be taken along with the IV set and other things,” a soft feminine voice said firmly.

“You mean that I have to pay twice the bill if I need to come in the evening for the second dose?!,” the aggressiveness was back in full force.

“Yes sir,” said the apologetic feminine voice.

I really don’t know whether the pair of them left and had Dinkar/Aryan do the needful or they did take one dose in the next bed. For I seem to have fallen asleep for an hour or so while the medicine went drop by drop into my poor molested veins!



The loud machine beeps woke me up to see that the bottle was empty, and no one was coming to check on me! So I rang the loud call bell, and a wee little male nurse came running and did whatever was to be done to stop the beeping machine. But I was still a prisoner!

“Could you please unwire me?” I asked politely.

“No Ma’am you need to have your breakfast before I can do that,” said the tiny boy.

The break fast came (As inedible as you all must have experienced) Fortunately I had had a huge, delicious breakfast before, so I just pushed the food around, had a sip of the cold coffee and waited.


“Doctor, the pain starts at my hips and travels to my toes. That too only on my left side,” an insistent voice said.

“Do you feel any pain when I do this?” this was obviously a doctor speaking.

“No, not really”

There were lot of similar questions and at last I heard an “Ahhhh.” So the point of pain had been found! I felt like saying “hallelujah!”

“Actually Doctor, we just returned from the Kumbh mela yesterday. I was fine all the while I was there. I even walked to the taxi by myself from the airport. But at night the pain was unbearable, so I came to you.” Explained the insistent voice.

“Hmmm; should I call the specialist or the on call Orthopaedic?”


“Before you do that, I must tell you that I had a mild stroke in December due to a blood clot. I didn’t want to take chances, so I came here. Could this pain be due to another clot or because there is a slip disc or……....” the voice continued with options and treatments.

“The concerned doctor will be able to clarify your doubts, sir.” Said a very tired but clipped voice.

Meanwhile I got a glimpse of my nurse, and I called him to free me up as I had finished my breakfast. He came and with a flourish opened the curtain in front of me.

“Please wait I will call someone.”

Now I saw a very harassed looking lady carrying a lot of reports and x ray reports in a huge bag peeping at me. I smiled at her, and she smiled back sympathetically. Dressed in a salwar kameez which looked as if it had fought with the fifty-crore population of Kumbh Mela she had the stoic look of a long-suffering woman. So, I smiled back at her sympathetically.

The Orthopaedic had come in the next cubical!

I heard a lot of groans and ahaaas and then.

“I will send you for an x ray and then we shall decide on the course of treatment” a very firm medical voice said sweeping away all the information that the patient had to give him.

So I got a glimpse of ‘Mr. Kumbh Mela Returned’ on a wheelchair followed by his wife pass by my cubical.

Now a new male nurse came and took out the tube connected to my cannula. He searched for the armband around my other arm. I sheepishly told him that I had already removed it.

“What about my cannula?” I insisted.

“After your dues ma’am,” he said as he disappeared from my sight.

I was right in front of the Nurse’s Station. However hard I tried I could not catch the eyes of the nurse peering into a computer. Having spent quite a bit of my life in the North I knew how to be pushy.

“Hi Sister!” I hollered and she had to look up.

“Please could you remove the cannula?”

“As soon as your dues are done,” she mumbled.

I got distracted by ‘Kumbh Mela returned.’

“From your x-ray I can see that everything is ok. So it must be a muscular problem. We will keep you on Muscle relaxants for a couple of days and then take a call whether to go for MRI or CT scan’,” the firm voice said.

“They have not taken a Xray of my spine. Suppose some disc has slipped ….,”

“We can give you an IV painkiller here and then see what happens if you prefer that”?

“You are sure this medication you are prescribing will solve my problem?” KMR asked.

“Yes,” said the doctor firmly.

The sigh I heard across the curtain was unclear whether it was the patient or his wife.

Thankfully, my lord and master had paid the ‘dues’ and then another nurse came to release me from my cannula jail and I tottered back to the car and to home sweet home.



Monday, January 27, 2025

Poochi and the maid story

 



 

Here I am again! Pouring out my tale of woe!

The thirtieth (or is it the thirty fifth?) maid bites the dust. Let’s not go into physics or math or the emotional quotient of whose fault was it. After thirty-five years of setting up and running various homes (the major part is employing maids!) I thought I was an expert. But we live and learn!

When we moved into our brand-new home which I really splurged on decorating to my taste (till now we had lived in company quarters or rented apartments), I thought I would find that elusive angel who will help maintain my little castle. Three and a half years of training, manipulating and overpaying have not got me anywhere near my ideal maid.

During one of the long absences of any help in the house, we decided to invest in a robot cleaner. I was thrilled with it. We had a washing machine to clean, a dryer to dry the clothes and a dishwasher to wash the dishes but floor cleaning did take up a lot of time and energy. So, our new robotic maid gladdened my heart.



I defiantly named it “Poochi” and referred to it as a ‘he’! (the ladies had so disappointed me!) He was so cute. I program it and he obeys me to a T. First, he maps the house, then he whirs about the house, cleaning the carpets and floor minutely. He mops whenever I put the mopping plate in and refuses to cross the barriers which I have put on the map. He also gives me updates… “Please untangle the left side brush” or “battery is low returning to charge” or “cleaning complete”. After finishing all work, it will locate the charger and shake itself and then climb on to the charger and charge itself.

Could you find a better maid? No arguments about “your house is too big you need to pay more” or “I am not coming tomorrow” or a sudden telephone call “Madam I am not feeling well won’t come for work today” etc. etc.



During this time, I continued trying human maids on and off (the dishes must be kept in their place; clothes must be folded and ironed; dusting must be done….) While a maid was employed, I gave Poochi a well-deserved break. I cleaned him up to his pristine white and handsome self, gave him some TLC and he was used as a decoration and as a conversation opener. I introduced him proudly to all our visitors and I have a feeling he preened himself!

But I Suspect that I have spoilt him and so have all the maids! He has used his AI  (Artificial Intelligence)to educate himself on the wiles of the maids.

It started some six months ago. We had returned from a trip and of course there was no help. So Poochi was cleaned and recharged.

The first day he did half the house and complained “battery low returning to charge” and did exactly that. The second day it was “Unable to locate starting new cleaning cycle” (this meant he would map the whole house and clean and obviously half way through the battery would get low!)

Anyway, soon a new maid was installed and Poochi was returned to being a ‘Man of leisure’.

When the last maid fell. I went back to Poochi……



He started his dramatics! Every day the battery would turn low just before he came to clean our bedroom, and he would slink away to charge himself. Once I put him physically in our bedroom at the beginning of the cleaning cycle. The cheeky fellow just took a perfunctory look around the room and rushed off to the living room and went about thoroughly cleaning and again our bedroom had to be cleaned by me.

Just a couple of days back Poochi started his ‘cleaning cycle’ properly. I needed to go out for some minor work. He had completed around half an hour of work when I left. I had just reached the first shop when I got a message “brush tangled please untangle!”. I just ignored the message and returned home after two hours.

Poochi was snoozing on the fluffy bathroom mat! Nothing was tangled! The moment I pushed the start button he went merrily about doing his work. But as usual “low battery returning to charge” pinged on my phone when he had just entered our bedroom!

So Poochi’s brain has assimilated all the tricks of the trade from all my innumerable maid and is determined to never let me rest on my laurels. I have complained to the manufacturers, and they have promised to get back to me as soon as possible!

My Jetson’s dream is shattered at the moment…..