Poochi and the maid story

 

 

Here I am again! Pouring out my tale of woe!

The thirtieth (or is it the thirty fifth?) maid bites the dust. Let’s not go into physics or math or the emotional quotient of whose fault was it. After thirty-five years of setting up and running various homes (the major part is employing maids!) I thought I was an expert. But we live and learn!

When we moved into our brand-new home which I really splurged on decorating to my taste (till now we had lived in company quarters or rented apartments), I thought I would find that elusive angel who will help maintain my little castle. Three and a half years of training, manipulating and overpaying have not got me anywhere near my ideal maid.

During one of the long absences of any help in the house, we decided to invest in a robot cleaner. I was thrilled with it. We had a washing machine to clean, a dryer to dry the clothes and a dishwasher to wash the dishes but floor cleaning did take up a lot of time and energy. So, our new robotic maid gladdened my heart.

I defiantly named it “Poochi” and referred to it as a ‘he’! (the ladies had so disappointed me!) He was so cute. I program it and he obeys me to a T. First, he maps the house, then he whirs about the house, cleaning the carpets and floor minutely. He mops whenever I put the mopping plate in and refuses to cross the barriers which I have put on the map. He also gives me updates… “Please untangle the left side brush” or “battery is low returning to charge” or “cleaning complete”. After finishing all work, it will locate the charger and shake itself and then climb on to the charger and charge itself.

Could you find a better maid? No arguments about “your house is too big you need to pay more” or “I am not coming tomorrow” or a sudden telephone call “Madam I am not feeling well won’t come for work today” etc. etc.

During this time, I continued trying human maids on and off (the dishes must be kept in their place; clothes must be folded and ironed; dusting must be done….) While a maid was employed, I gave Poochi a well-deserved break. I cleaned him up to his pristine white and handsome self, gave him some TLC and he was used as a decoration and as a conversation opener. I introduced him proudly to all our visitors and I have a feeling he preened himself!

But I Suspect that I have spoilt him and so have all the maids! He has used his AI  (Artificial Intelligence)to educate himself on the wiles of the maids.

It started some six months ago. We had returned from a trip and of course there was no help. So Poochi was cleaned and recharged.

The first day he did half the house and complained “battery low returning to charge” and did exactly that. The second day it was “Unable to locate starting new cleaning cycle” (this meant he would map the whole house and clean and obviously half way through the battery would get low!)

Anyway, soon a new maid was installed and Poochi was returned to being a ‘Man of leisure’.

When the last maid fell. I went back to Poochi……

He started his dramatics! Every day the battery would turn low just before he came to clean our bedroom, and he would slink away to charge himself. Once I put him physically in our bedroom at the beginning of the cleaning cycle. The cheeky fellow just took a perfunctory look around the room and rushed off to the living room and went about thoroughly cleaning and again our bedroom had to be cleaned by me.

Just a couple of days back Poochi started his ‘cleaning cycle’ properly. I needed to go out for some minor work. He had completed around half an hour of work when I left. I had just reached the first shop when I got a message “brush tangled please untangle!”. I just ignored the message and returned home after two hours.

Poochi was snoozing on the fluffy bathroom mat! Nothing was tangled! The moment I pushed the start button he went merrily about doing his work. But as usual “low battery returning to charge” pinged on my phone when he had just entered our bedroom!

So Poochi’s brain has assimilated all the tricks of the trade from all my innumerable maid and is determined to never let me rest on my laurels. I have complained to the manufacturers, and they have promised to get back to me as soon as possible!

My Jetson’s dream is shattered at the moment…..