Affaire de Heart

Hi Bloggy!  it’s been a long while that I have spoken to you. I have been kind of busy with this and that! Being disciplined is a difficult task and when I get a chance, like the river, I meander in the easiest path possible...

I had been to visit my beloved mountains; I was resuming my affaire de heart after quite a long gap. I have always had a long distance relationship – I go for holidays to the mountains but I live either in the plains or near the sea! I have talked of this before but would like to reiterate that going up, literally gives me a kind of high which no wine or rum can! 

Anyone who knows me should consciously or unconsciously realise that I am the happiest when I am alone with and in the mountains. Have you just tried to walk on the roads in the mountains with the clouds swarming around you like an affectionate kitten? Have you felt the clean, clear breeze wrapping you in its freshness? Have you tried to just sit down on a bench overlooking a cliff and breathing in all that beauty spread before you?

As I grow older and I know I have a limited time before me I want to cram myself with all the knowledge possible( I wish I had done this in school!) I want to know and question, to know history, philosophy and to some extent science. I know my limitations though – I can never understand finance (I do know how to spend money!) So my trip gave a lot of insight into all these subjects but when I reflect on the holiday, the best part was when I stood on the cliff savouring the scenes unfolding- the clouds raced below me giving me glimpses of a real world in an unreal setting.

Photographs are wonderful catalysts to jogging ones memory but it can never capture those emotions which you felt at that moment. Something is better than nothing, one does appreciate the snaps years later but for me it’s like a body without a soul! I depend on my fading memories!

Human beings are unique. We are all the same physically and we have survived all these years due to the fact that we adapt to nature (sometimes change nature to suit us).

I wonder how people can live on pasta and pizza. Once I used to love these but now I appreciate the variety in Indian food. Of course my diet is restricted in the western countries as I do not eat beef or pork. By the time we came back to al Qahira we headed straight to an Indian restaurant!

 I must tell you that I experience religion in a different way. Being Indian I am unconsciously secular. I am not an atheist but I am not an active follower of my religion either. By chance I am in a country where religion is an important part of the daily life and by chance I had the opportunity to visit the most important city for Catholics.

 I have this habit of closing my eyes and searching to be one with the maker in all the temples I visit and I have always found that this oneness is possible in lesser known temples. I had no expectations when I visited the Vatican, I knew it would be a city with beautiful building with priceless works of art but I had no expectations.

We went with Valentina like school children gathering knowledge as if we needed to face an exam on our return! We moved from one beautiful interior to another gazing with awe at the works of the great artists. Then of course the magnificence of the St. Peter’s basilica took my breath away and I looked at the alters ready to take me in but being pre-judgemental I never even tried to find my maker here and I think I missed out. 

It was much later in a little known church in Sienna, amidst all the people, that I saw the light and I know that here is what I was seeking. The Universe had come to meet me here as it had in a number of places and I felt the calm and the peace that I am constantly searching for.

I have stated that I am not a religious person and so I do not name my God according to a particular religion. For me the consciousness that we exist as body less entities is what my religion and Universe is all about. Like a drug addict, every once in a while I need to inject myself with similar experiences to keep myself going! Sometimes I get such horrendous withdrawal symptoms that I dig myself a pit where I wallow till I get my ‘fix’.

I have got my ‘dose ‘for the time being and my soul soars with the confidence and strength of my beliefs and all is all right with my world. Amidst the chaos of the whole world- riots, markets collapsing, terrorists- I am still able to smile and look down at the waves crashing against the rocks, knowing that soon all shall be well...