The background was blue- blue sky; blue moon; blue stars and even the grass! It was blue. I walked up steadily trying to reach the cliff. I took in the faint whiff of moist earth and sodden grass and I reached the jutting cliff. I looked down at the backwaters between the chasm and felt a little dizzy and then looked up at the opposite side to another cliff jutting out. There was intense desire to jump and cross the chasm and reach the other side. The brightness and glitter put out beckoning hands and I jumped.... I woke up with a jump too, feeling frustrated, I didn’t know whether I fell or crossed the chasm successfully!
As individuals we have our own desires and expectations and to add to this is the expectations of others. As a race we human do try to be honest. But we do have a strain of dishonesty which makes us put on masks. We are never truly honest even with ourselves and so these expectations are half formed blurry images which we shy away from focusing on. So what... then what?
Most great persons are of two kinds- either they are totally insular; they live in their own world and live life setting benchmarks and expecting people to kowtow to their laws and rules or they are totally social- they live in a world of other people where they carve and scrimp and adjust with the others, thinking of others and doing things for others. I am no great person – most of us are a bit of both we have our own personal desires and expectations, we inhabit both kind of worlds and we get along falling and rising.
This is all great as long as all the issues and problems involve us personally but what happens when it involves someone else? My desire cannot be fulfilled if someone else does not walk in tandem with me- then what do I do? DO I push the other person; kick him; prod him or show by example and what happens when none of these work? Do I take the easy way out and wallow in deep depression or be brave and ignore that something like that was never on my bulletin board or be a coward and ‘mask’ my emotions?
I have too many open-ended questions to satisfy even my own mediocre psyche so I dare not venture into other peoples domains! The horse was obviously thirsty so the rider took him to the pond but the horse refused to drink from it. The horse expected to be taken to a waterfall or to source of running water not to a stagnant pond hence he refused to drink! The rider of course thought that he had done a great job in realizing the horse’s need and taking him to the water source but was met with an ungrateful horse. Thus there was a chasm between the reality and expectation! Left to him the horse may have found what he desired but his owner was leading him with the bridle and he did not have the freedom to express his emotions.
The advantage that we have over the horse is that we can express ourselves but unlike the horse we live in a polite society and not only are we not honest, we put on masks and blindfold others and repeat statements like “All is well” to spread pseudo-happiness in the whole world.
There must have been many a time when we have fallen short of our expectations. Then why the big deal when someone else falls short? I will tell you why, it’s because you can play the blame game very easily it’s very difficult to blame yourself, you see!
The whole solution to this lies in lunging over the chasm in a comfortable manner. One answer could be – do not have any expectations (Not sure if this is possible!) another could be, do not have any from others (Very difficult) still another is keep the expectations within limits (don’t ask for the moon when you can be happy with the torch light!)
The human heart is very troublesome- it is illogical, impractical and impassable. It is argumentative, augmentative and allegorical- unlike the mind. We thus have the eternal fight between the mind and the heart and “God save the heart” from the ruthless mind but maybe it’s time we buried the heart between the two cliffs of reality and expectation and make it the bridge to happiness...
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