Erasing the line

Its a good feeling to see India doing well at the commonwealth games. What is this about this crazy country of ours that we mismanage everything yet come out with honors??!!Suddenly, after what I feel is eons,I am missing Delhi! I am missing the waiting for the University Special on a cold winter misty morning.I miss eating the hot samosas at the university canteen after a scintillating lecture from the newly appointed handsome professor! I even miss hanging on to the straps in the bus through the hour's journey, dead tired but still enjoying the process.

We didn't have the metro then. Eve teasing was rampant, yet few girls those days had much choice; if you didn't take the DTC, you stayed at home! So we moved in groups, avoided eye contact with "those" kind of boys. Sat in bus stops and passed comments on the innocent ones!

I miss walking around Janpath picking up bargains. I miss wearing the eternal jeans which were like a uniform. I miss going to the Hanuman mandir on Tuesdays- not because I was religious but to accompany a friend who was. I miss coming back home half sleepy, being fed by Ma and going to sleep under the blanket for an hour or so. What bliss!

Great men tell us not to look at the past and that we must live in the present as this is the only reality. But sometimes when we are walking on a beautiful road we come to a dead end- what do we do? Either we turn back and go through the pleasures of the time past or we break the dead end and move forward. To break open a dead end requires immense amount of strength. It is almost nigh impossible to gather this power when we are just awaking from an orgy of pleasant happiness. This is when we need to move back from reality, gather our energy like a high jumper poised before taking off and then string our bow taut and let free the arrow to be able to crash into the black reality facing us. Sometimes the happy past can act as a fuel for this.

The sea is misty today. I can hardly make out the line dividing the sea and the sky. Its time we realize that there is only a line dividing life and after life.

Serpent in Eden!

While reading the book of Genesis, I felt that the whole story was a comedy of errors! Both Adam and Eve were so very flat in the beginning; interesting thing began to happen only when the serpent came into Eden! How much ever we refuse to meet the Devil's eye, we cannot refute the fact that he was handsome and intelligent. How easily he manipulated the humans! And even God's string was indirectly pulled by him.

The eternal question of who was to be blamed, will never be satisfactorily answered. Personally I don't blame Eve, I mean how long can an averagely intelligent human being, just eat and breath? The story had to go forward and the serpent provided the catalyst. The whole atmosphere was at a bursting point, if it had not been the serpent it would have been something else! Not that I blame Adam either, the poor thing did not have much choice did he? Only one friend, companion and wife with whom he was to spend eternity!What other avenues were open for him? They both made their own independent choice and must have regretted it many a times in their life. But it is this choice which gave them the first taste of freedom- before this, they were birds in a golden cage! Just imagine the human race would never have been there but for the slimy serpent! Eternity of Adam and Eve!

The Yin Yang philosophy best illustrates my argument. If Yin is not there, there is no Yang, as they represent a whole, one is incomplete without the other. Of course to label yin yang as good/bad or negative/ positive is to limit its deeper meaning but superficially it does pander to my ideas!

If there was no death would we appreciate life? If there was no ugliness would we appreciate beauty? If there was no pain would we appreciate happiness? Just imagine how many feelings we would have skipped if Eve had not eaten that apple!

It is just that, in the wheel of life, when we are down, life is the pits. When we analyze why such a thing had to happen or is happening? We wallow in the bog of ifs and buts and sink deeper into it. There is no point in reflecting on what went wrong its better to think of how to set it right!

Its the Greek who actually understood what the human mind needs and they introduced the concept of tragedy and catharsis!

The sea is a little murky today, I wait on in the hope that it will clear up soon.

Falling and Rising

It feels good to be back after a hiatus.The last two months have been rather busy- traveling, meeting people and getting to know them better. How strange that many of our preconceived notions can break down in nanoseconds if we allow ourselves to be fluid in our outlook!

Discovering that people are actually good till we turn them into 'not so good' is one of the amazing discoveries that no one ever chronicles. It takes age and time to discover this. I think the arrogance of youth is the main obstacle that prevents us from discovering this wonderful truth of life.

Controlling one's impulses is actually healthy! (When I was studying in the XIth grade, one lady whom I used to look up to, had told me that most of our ailments come due to the fact that we suppress our impulses, "See",she would say,"How healthy all the birds and animals are, they never fall ill- it's all because they never suppress their impulses- they eat when they are hungry, drink when thirsty and shit when they feel the urge to!".This actually ruled me for many of my formative years and I would speak fearlessly of my opinions and ideas without a second thought and with conviction. It did help me in college, specially during seminars and presentations but... a big 'BUT' is whether it endeared me to my friends? I really don't know, not even now! They were too polite to argue with me then! It is only now that I realize that sometimes they actually hurt the atmosphere around us and nothing in life is more important than human relationships!

One more notion that tumbled down like Humpty Dumpty is that, once you have seen somethings (Here I mean Monuments) you have seen it all! Well I went to see the Giza Pyramids for the second time and discovered how wrong I was! Its like going to a growing garden- every time you go there - there is something new to see and appreciate. How is that many of us spend an hour at these sites of civilization and expect to know all, is a mystery?

Silently accepting my drawbacks and trying to make amends has enriched me personally and after a long time the sea is echoing my mood- a little dark, a little turbulent but still warm and inviting!